


Head is spinning thinking 'bout

by LiviKate



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asexual Raphael Santiago, Asexuality, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blood Drinking, Heavy Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Simon is just really pure and sweet, Unnecessary Spanish, Vampire Sex, obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-21 22:24:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11953917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiviKate/pseuds/LiviKate
Summary: Simon and Raphael enjoy their time together, even if Simon doesn't really know what to call it.Or, gratuitous vampire sex with some ace-spectrum themes because there's not enough Asexual Raphael.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This Raphael definitely only represents one way to be ace. This Raphael isn't sex-repulsed, and really enjoys intimacy. This is written with my own experience with ace-spectrum partners and friends and is not meant to represent all different expressions of asexuality. 
> 
> Title from Charli XCX's song, Boys because that's all I've been listening to.

Simon gasped towards the ceiling, the muscle in his thigh tensing and flinching away from the sharp sting even as he gripped Raphael’s neck tightly, holding him near. Raphael held his leg with bruising strength as he drank, his other hand still moving feather-lightly over Simon’s cock. Simon’s other leg twitched, trying to wrap around his boyfriend without disrupting him, trying to pull him closer.

“Fuck, Raph, so good,” he muttered mindlessly, hips squirming enough to make Raphael growl. But he couldn’t keep still. His head was fuzzy with the effect of the bite, the one on his wrist still throbbing, and the taste of his partner’s blood was still thick in his mouth.

“If it’s so good,” Raphael murmured against his bloodied skin, “why are you trying to get away from me?”

“I need you,” Simon whined, his legs twitching again. He immediately removed his hand from his partner’s nape, knowing exactly what would happen if he lost control and tried to pull on his hair. He grabbed at his arms and shoulders instead, tugging at him. “Come up here,” he asked, eyes pleading. “I need you closer.”

“I thought you liked it when I was near your dick,” Raphael said, and Simon was seventy percent sure he was teasing. “Doesn’t it feel good? Don’t you like the way I look here?”

And _fuck,_ Simon did. Raphael looked fucking gorgeous. Eyes dark with pleasure, mouth soaked with blood, cheeks pink from feeding. His bottom lip was swollen from where Simon had bit clean through it, and the blood covering his chin was a mix of both of theirs. His hair was still immaculate, but his face had gone soft, lost some of its edges as it often did when they were alone together. He wasn’t mindless with lust, like Simon so often was, but the pleasure of drinking from a partner seemed to give Raphael just a taste of what it might be like to desire and crave another’s touch. Simon knew he never got to quite the same place that he did in this bed, and that made it easy for his partner to tease him for it, like he was now. But it also meant that Raphael should _understand_. He should _know_ exactly what sort of closeness Simon needed.

“Please?” he asked, letting his hands and legs go limp, letting his head loll to the side, eyes closed, still overwhelmed by his depth of feeling for the man.

“Of course, _cari_ _ño_ ,” Raphael sighed, voice soft as he crawled up Simon’s sprawled, naked frame. He let their hips settle together, the material of his dark pants rich, but not smoother than his skin. Selfishly, Simon wished his partner was naked, but he knew Raphael moved at his own pace and often didn’t like being exposed. When his partner pressed their chests together, gathering up Simon’s head in his hands, holding their foreheads together, Simon stopped caring. He wrapped his arms up around the pale body above him, holding him close and focusing on the way their blood was pulsing through each other’s veins and he could still _feel it._

“Fuck,” Simon panted, his legs folding in to catch Raphael’s behind the knees, holding them together.

“Are you good?” Raphael asked, nosing his way over his partner’s cheek.

“Yeah,” Simon shivered, moaning a little as his boyfriend licked kittenishly at his lobe. And because he was a vampire, there wasn’t even the uncomfortable tickle of breath in his ear. “You?”

“Perfect,” he rumbled, nipping at the shell.

“Good.” Simon tilted his head back, exposing his throat. “Again?”

Raphael’s dark growl was answer enough, and Simon whimpered at the bright flash of pain as his fangs sunk into his neck. But then the endorphins and the venom and the _bliss_ were back and Simon arched into it. Raph probably thought he was spoiling him, letting him take from his neck, the most intimate place for the older vamp. But it was really entirely selfish. Yes, Simon liked offering his thigh, liked the way Raphael would pull him off as he fed, but _this,_ this was the closest to sex they got. This is where Simon could feel him pressed tightly against him, pushing their bodies together as they were both flooded with blood and pleasure, this is where he could dig his nail in and thrust his hips up. He knew Raphael didn’t particularly like it when he touched his cock or his ass, but he knew the older vampire loved it when Simon let his nails cut into his back, drawing blood, holding him tightly, begging him for more.

“Do you think,” Simon began, before breaking off to gasp at the way it felt when Raphael moaned, teeth still dug into his flesh. Speaking while fangs were in his neck was almost excruciating, but God, it was worth it. “Do you think,” he started again, “that you could ever fuck me?”

“I don’t know,” his boyfriend answered, pulling his fangs away from his throat, licking over the messily torn skin that was already beginning to knit back together. “Maybe.” He rolled his hips, something he only ever wanted to do when he was overwhelmed with Simon’s blood. Simon could feel him, hard in his slacks from so much drinking, and he threw his head back and groaned as he thrust against him, rutting over his painfully hard cock. “Would you like that?” he asked, voice dark and low and so sexy Simon could barely process the words.

“Yes,” he hissed, the ‘s’ extra distorted around his fangs. “I could get myself ready,” he panted, not wanting to put the idea of no prep on the table. There was a certain amount of pain and blood expected when in bed with a vampire, but that’s not something he wanted to cross with his asshole. “You could drink from me while you did it.” He grasped at his partner with shaking arms, wrapping around his back as he continue to roll his hips. “You could drain me, I wouldn’t care.”

“I would never,” Raphael murmured absently, running his hand over Simon’s neck and shoulder, smearing blood, pinkening his pale skin.

“You could,” Simon promised foolishly, belly chilled where his partner’s belt buckle pressed against him, but cock unbearably close to oversensitivity from grinding against the fabric. “If you wanted,” he said, hands moving restlessly over his partner’s skin, no longer talking about draining him. “You, um, you could use a toy, if that makes it better. Or we could just not,” he said, hearing his voice crack. “But, it would, fuck, it would be really good for me,” he stuttered out, cursing as his toes started to curl against his partner’s calves when Raphael’s hand scratched through his hair.

“I’ll think about it,” Raphael answered, pressing kisses to his jaw. “You can always ask me for things.”

“You can always say no,” Simon reminded him, running fingertips up his spine to squeeze around the back of his neck.

“I know,” Raphael assured him, before grabbing him by the hair and directing his mouth to his shoulder. Simon took the invitation gladly, clamping down hard on the muscle of his partner’s shoulder, feeling it move around his teeth as Raphael dropped his head in pleasure. Raphael mocks him, often, about the places he chooses to bite, saying that if he were less distracted by his desire for his body, he could be more in tune with his thirst and would be able to resist the perfect beauty of Raphael’s sculpted musculature to go straight for the blood. But Simon didn’t care. He much preferred a mouth full of muscle. He liked sucking hard at the sluggish flow of blood, lapping up the slow trickle and biting again and again. He liked the way Raphael hissed and shook when he hurt him, liked the way he would pant and groan when Simon made him feel good.

They rolled off to their sides when Raphael stopping holding his bodyweight up. Simon wrapped an arm around him, making sure his neck was cushioned by his bicep. He kissed and bit his way cross his collarbone before trailing his tongue up his throat, hot with blood. Raphael moaned and was eager for his kiss when he finally reached his lips. Feeling light-headed and drugged from so much blood sharing, Simon was a few kisses away from asking if he could get off.

Then the door slid open.

“Fuck,” he cursed, hearing Clary let herself in, calling his name. Raphael groaned and rolled onto his back.

“This wouldn’t happen if you stayed with me at the DuMort,” he said, for the hundredth time. “Shadowhunters can’t go there.”

“I know, that’s why I _don’t_ stay there,” Simon said, used to the familiar argument. He rolled out of bed and pulled a pair of sweats on. “I’ll go see what she wants,” he sighed.

“Simon,” Clary called again, walking slowly passed the rows of boats. “Which one of these canoes are you in?”

“None of the above,” he said, stepping out of the alcove he’d tucked his bed in. He had a tight-lipped smile on his face, not unhappy to see her, but not exactly thrilled with her timing.

“Oh, my God, Simon!” Clary shouted, rushing over to him, eyes wide with fear.

“What? What’s wrong?” he asked, erection gone at the possibility of trouble.

“What happened to you?” she asked, hands reaching out. Her touch felt uncomfortably warm, and it was then that he realized he was smeared with blood. “Did you get in a fight? Who did this to you?”

“No, Clary, it’s fine,” he said, trying to step away from her hands. “Really, I’m fine.”

“You should’ve called me immediately,” she said, taking off her jacket and bunching it up. “Just because you’re a vampire doesn’t mean you can’t die, you idiot.” Simon saw Alec and Izzy poke their heads in the doorway and he groaned. Clary took it as a sound of pain. “I’m so sorry,” she said, for what, he couldn’t fathom. She pressed her jacket against the jagged bite on his neck. “This is all my fault, whoever did this to you was probably trying to get back at me or something. I’m so sorry Simon.”

“I can assure you, Shadowhunter, this has nothing to do with you,” Raphael said, and Simon turned around to see his partner, still shirtless and equally covered in blood, leaning against the doorway.

“You know who did this?” Clary asked, and Simon could have sworn she heard Izzy snort.

“I did,” Raphael said, rolling his eyes.

“What?” she asked, looking frantically between them. “Why?”

“For the same reason I’m going to ask you to take your hands off him,” he said in a voice that was low and slow, his eyebrow raised.

Clary released him, realization slowly dawning on her face with a dark blush.

“Were you two… having _sex_?” she asked, taking at least three steps back, her now bloodied jacket hanging limply in her hands.

“No,” Simon said, at the same time Raphael said, “Yes.” They looked at each other. Izzy definitely laughed this time.

“I mean,” Simon said, looking between his boyfriend and his best friend. “We weren’t.” He frowned at Raphael. “You said you didn’t…”

The older man was looking at him like he was an idiot. He shook his head, before uncrossing his arm and stalking slowly into Simon’s space.

“Where were you, baby?” he asked, doing that truly unfair thing he does, where he gets close, tilts his head, and speaks in a voice so low and rough Simon can’t help but lean closer. “Wasn’t I making you feel good?”

“Yeah, I mean, yeah, of course,” Simon babbled, gaze locked on the blood painting his lower lip like gloss.

“And don’t you know how good it makes me feel, to make you feel good?”

“Yeah?” Simon breathed, and even after all these weeks it was still a question, still so unbelievable.

“Yes, _mi amor_ ,” Raphael said, barely a whisper. “That’s sex.”

He couldn’t help but glance around, the closeness and intimacy of their exchange seeming at odds with their audience. Clary and Izzy were watching raptly. Alec was staring at the ceiling like he wished dearly for something murderous to swoop down from the shadows, so he would have a reason to not be here, witnessing. “But,” Simon said, turning back to his partner. “You’re ace. You don’t like sex.”

“There are all different kinds of asexual people,” Raphael murmured, taking the last step that kept them apart. He laid his hand on his side and let his thumb brush over a trail of tacky blood drying over his ribs. “And there are all kinds of sex. I told you what I do and what I don’t like, and we’re working out what we both like together, right?”

“Yeah,” Simon agreed, mouth pulled into a smile he knew looked stupid and dopey, but he couldn’t help it. “Do you, uh,” he said, trying to be smooth as he rubbed the back of his neck, jerking his head towards his bedroom. “Do you wanna get back to it?” Raphael grinned, small and private, flicking his eyes to the shadowhunters present.

“Deal with your little friends first, _cari_ _ño_.”

“Right,” Simon said, nodding, turning around in the circle of his arms to look at Clary again. Her eyebrows were so high up her forehead they nearly disappeared into her hairline, and Izzy was mashing her lips together so tightly to hold in laughter that it must be physically painful at this point. “So, um,” he said uselessly. “Did you need something?”

“Um, uh, we, uh,” Clary said, walking backwards, still looking shocked. She bumped into Izzy, shaking a laugh out of her. “It’s not important. And you’re clearly busy. So, we’ll go. Let you get back to things.”

“Congrats, by the way,” Izzy said, giving Raphael a long look up and down. Simon stepped in front of him, knowing he didn’t like being looked at like that. “Oh honey,” she laughed, noticing. “I was looking at you, not him.” All the borrowed blood in his body rushed to his cheeks as he shifted self-consciously.

“I suppose you’ll tell my father,” Raphael said, looking over Simon’s shoulder. Alec shrugged his shoulders.

“You know how he worries.”

“Fine,” Raph sighed, and it brushed down Simon’s spine, making him shiver. “I’ll be bringing Simon to Sunday brunch from now on, then.”

“Please don’t,” Alec said with a grimace, and Simon rolled his eyes. He was going to win that guy over eventually. Maybe it would happen at the sacred Sunday brunches.

“See you then,” Simon said, waving, trying not to seem too eager for his friends to leave, but absolutely wanting them to go home. They finally filed out of the warehouse, with Izzy tossing them a saucy wink before the metal door slid shit.

“That wouldn’t have had to happen if you’d come to me at the DuMort,” Raphael said, setting his mouth against his bloodied shoulder, licking over his skin.

“Literally everyone in the entire hotel can hear it when we have sex. And they always make fun of me for begging so much,” Simon groused, though he leaned back heavily against his partner’s chest.

“I love it when you beg,” Raphael said, pushing his hand under the waistband of his sweatpants.

“I know, and if you want me to keep doing it, it’ll be here,” Simon said, trying to sound firm, which was hard to do when his boyfriend’s cool hand was wrapped around his cock, stroking it back to fullness.

“You know,” he said, flicking at his ear with his tongue, speaking in that cocky, sexy drawl he had. “The werewolves across the street can probably hear you just as well. Including your second father.”

“Fuck,” Simon cursed. He hadn’t thought about that. To be fair, it was hard to think about much when Raphael was in the mood to put his hands on him.

“Don’t start worrying about it now, baby,” Raphael murmured, drawing his hand out of his pants enough to grab his hips and spin him around and kiss him sweetly. “Let’s finish what we started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is more explicitly sexual, but it's from Raphael's point of view, so there is somehow even more sex but also even more asexuality. If that makes sense. If that's not for you, no worries! Please leave a comment on this chapter and let me know! Otherwise, enjoy!!


	2. Chapter 2

It was the middle of the day and for some reason, Raphael was awake. He’d been having a rather pleasant dream of the old drive-in theaters he used to go to, Simon curled under his arm… wearing a poodle skirt? That couldn’t be right. Regardless, it had been nice and he’d rather like to go back to it. But only a second’s worth of attention to his enhanced senses told him someone was in the room with him.

Sitting up, he pushed the silk sheets down, squinting at the pale body burrowing itself into the sofa on the opposite end of the room. Simon squeaked when he saw him, awake and glaring.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Simon said, still whispering, even though he was incredibly awake. Raphael saw that he had grabbed the black velvet bed runner from the foot of the bed and had wrapped it around his shoulders like a sort of shawl.

“What are you doing?” Raphael asked, rubbing at his sleepy eyes with one hand. He wanted to look at his watch on the bedside table, but knew that no matter what time it was, he wasn’t supposed to be awake right now.

“I had breakfast with Clary and my mom,” Simon said, trying to squish one of the decorative pillows into a more comfortable shape. “I came back for a few hours of sleep before the sun went down.” He nestled further into the couch and Raphael glared a little harder. Ever since his boyfriend had become a daylighter, Raphael had seen less and less of him. In fact, he hadn’t seen his boyfriend in nearly a week.

“Why didn’t you go to the docks?” His partner was clearly dressed for bed, Star Trek sleep shorts and one of Raphael’s oldest shirts, so old and soft it was nearly translucent.

“I wanted to see you,” Simon said with a winning grin. Though Simon still kept his other place, as well as always being welcome at his family home or the Institute, Raphael had taken to thinking of his apartment in the DuMort to be _theirs._ He was glad that Simon had chosen to finally come home.

“Why are you on the couch?” Raphael asked, his soft smile outweighed by his furrowed brow. Though Simon looked uncomfortable, with the thin fabric wrapped around himself, not even covering his long, bare legs, and the scratchy embroidery of the throw pillow pushing his hair up in strange places, he seemed content to stay there. On the couch. A whole room away from his partner in bed.

“I didn’t know if I would be intruding,” Simon said simply, not moving to get up.

“Intruding?” Raphael looked at the bed, of which he was clearly only taking up one side of, his side. Simon’s side was left perfectly empty, the corner of the comforter still turned down and everything.

“Yeah, well,” Simon said, picking at the pillow under his cheek. “You weren’t awake for me to ask if it was okay to cuddle you or sleep next to you, so I figured better safe than sorry.” Simon looked up with concern. “Should I not have come over? I knew you were going to be asleep, I could’ve stayed anywhere else, I’m so sorry, I should’ve known better. And I woke you up, and I—”

“Simon,” Raphael cut him off with a waved hand and a sigh. “You are always welcome in our bed.” Simon beamed, his smile huge and beautiful and Raphael was sure that if his heart still beat, it would’ve stopped. The fledgling clambered up in all coltish grace and still-new vampire speed, racing to the edge of the bed in a second. He leapt in, nuzzling under the covers and wiggling across the entirety of his side to press himself completely against his partner.

“Is this okay?” he asked, when Raphael laid back down, Simon’s arm slung over his waist and their legs tangled together.

“Of course,” Raphael murmured, and _Dios_ , it was so true. He settled on his side and didn’t resist the urge to gently trace his partner’s brow with a light finger. “Why would you think otherwise?”

“It’s just,” Simon said, haltingly. “I feel like we’ve been a little off recently.” His voice was small, and scared, and quite a bit like Raphael had been feeling as he’d gone to bed alone these past couple days.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Raphael took his hand back, tucking it under his chin.

“I just thought maybe I’d give you a little time to miss me,” Simon admitted in a quiet breath. Raphael jerked up to seated, putting distance between them, something cold curling in his belly.

“You were punishing me? For what?” All this time he had just thought his partner was losing interest, returning to the sunlight. He hadn’t realized he should’ve been wracking his brain for what he’d done wrong. He didn’t know, couldn’t think of what to apologize for.

“What? Why would you think that?” Simon asked, flailing a bit in the bed, displacing the sheets and his pillow.

“Have I been treating you poorly?” Raphael asked, searching his partner’s face in the dusky, low light. “Have I not been appreciating you?” Simon hesitated, and Raphael knew. The cold clench of guilt and fear in his stomach made it impossible to lie back in his lover’s embrace. He untangled his legs and pulled them up underneath him. They were going to fix this now. “It’s been many years since I’ve been in a relationship like this. You need to tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

Simon pushed himself up with a sheepishly smile, sitting crosslegged in front of him. He reached forward and took his hand.

“I wasn’t punishing you,” he said softly, earnestly. “I don’t even know what that would look like.”

“You took yourself away from me,” Raphael said quietly. “For the express purpose of making me feel badly.”

“No, Go—” Simon still stuttered over the word. “No, Raph, that’s not what I meant.”

“It worked,” Raphael confessed, keeping his chin high as he stared at the wall over his partner’s shoulder. “I missed you terribly. And I am ready to make amends for whatever I’ve done wrong.” He looked down at their hands, still held between them, and chuckled sadly. “Once again, I don’t agree with your brand of negotiation, but I can’t say that it’s not effective. You’re very good at getting your way.”

“No, Raphael, stop it,” Simon said, squeezing his hands tightly, shifting forward on the bed until their knees were touching. He reached up as if to touch his face before stopping. “Hey,” he said with a smile, when Raphael closed his eyes. “I’m supposed to be the one with self-esteem issues. Not you.” Raphael huffed a laugh and looked at him again.

“What did I do?” he asked softly. Simon’s smile tucked in self-consciously at the corners and he stared down at the hands in their laps.

“It’s just,” he began slowly, shrugging his shoulders. “I need a lot of… attention. And lately, you haven’t really wanted to give me any.”

Raphael’s spine snapped straight and he drew his hands away. He had a lump in his throat, and had to swallow a few times before it would go away.

“This is about sex.” Because of course it was. It had been weeks since they’d last engaged in that sort of activity. Between the stress of Valentine’s continued threats, and Camille’s children still staging attacks and protests, Raphael had not even wanted to _think_ about sex. But perhaps he should’ve. He had taught himself over years, with Magnus’ help, that sex was not another duty of him. He _had_ to run his clan, he _had_ to protect the downworld, he _had_ to go to brunch on Sundays. But sex was not something he _had_ to do to maintain a relationship. Or at least, it never had been before.

“No, it’s not, I promise it’s not,” Simon rushed to say, and Raphael opened his eyes to his panicked face, not knowing when he’d closed them. “I swear, Raph, baby, it’s not about sex.”

He just quirked a silent brow.

“Remember, when you first came out to me, and I told you I could live the rest of my life without having sex again, but that I needed some things?” Raphael nodded sharply. “I need contact,” Simon said, and for some reason he was the one who sounded like he was begging, even though it was Raphael who felt like he was losing something. “Raphael, it’s been _twelve days_ since you last kissed me.” Simon looked away, taking one of his hands back to rub at the back of his neck. “And I thought maybe I was pushing too hard or getting too clingy, because every time I tried to touch you, you brushed me off.” His shoulders hunched in and he looked so much smaller than he had before. “So I backed off.”

“Simon, I’m sorry,” Raphael breathed, and looking at him now he couldn’t believe he’d gone that long without kissing him.

“I know you’ve been stressed,” Simon said, reaching out tentatively to rest his hand on his partner’s bare ankle. “And I know you probably thought I was coming on to you.” And Raphael had. He’d rebuffed advances, assuming he knew where they would lead. But that hadn’t been fair, and he should’ve remembered that Simon wanted more from him that just that.

“Not excuses,” Raphael murmured quietly, guiding his boyfriend’s head up with a hand under his chin. “I am sorry I neglected you.”

“I’m sorry I disappeared on you,” Simon said, but Raphael silenced him with a thumb on his lips.

“Can I kiss you now?” Raphael, and Simon’s eyes feel immediately closed.

“Please.”

Raphael held his face a tad too fiercely, kissing him with practiced softness. Simon whimpered near silently against his lips and Raphael kissed him again. And then again. And then again a little harder, until Simon had parted his lips on a gasp and had threaded his hand in the back of his hair. He tasted like blood, like he’d had a snack before coming to bed, and Raphael pushed him slowly onto his back as he licked into his mouth, sighing with contentment as Simon’s arms came up around his back, petting over his bare skin.

“Fuck, I missed you,” Simon breathed, when Raphael let his lips fall to his neck.

“ _Yo tambien, mi amor_ ,” Raphael murmured against his skin, sucking a light pink blush onto his throat.

“I, uh, I just ate,” Simon said, beginning to grow breathless. “If you want to bite me.” Raphael pulled back.

“I wouldn’t want to do anything else,” Raphael cautioned, around teeth that had grown a little in his mouth.

“That’s fine,” Simon assured him immediately. “I just want to be close to you.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Raphael whispered against his lips. He kissed him again, growing more and more gentle, before rolling onto his back. He scooped an arm around Simon and brought him with him, letting the younger man settle his head on his chest. Simon’s hand naturally landed on his chest aside his head, and Raphael took it in a careful grip, bringing it up and kissing his palm delicately. Simon hummed, nuzzling closer into his side, legs twining together, his other arm curled between their bodies. Raphael kissed his wrist before sinking his teeth in, and he felt Simon shudder in the arm he had still splayed against the man’s back.

He took very little, mostly just letting his bite take effect in his partner’s body, letting his fangs sink deeply into his skin. He bit twice, something only fledgling really had to do, but he knew Simon liked it. When Simon was boneless and relaxed against his side, the only rigid part of him begin his cock pressed lazily against his hip, Raphael retracted his teeth, and licked lazily at his skin until he was all healed and clean. A few drops had fallen to his own chest, but Raphael left them, happy to have his partner’s blood marking him inside and out. Simon hummed sleepily when he released his wrist, tilting his head up for a slow, deep kiss.

“Mmm, I taste good,” he murmured, fang-drunk and pleased, and Raphael chuckled, holding him closer.

“The best,” he murmured into his hair, pressing a last kiss there before the sound of Simon’s gentle snoring lulled him back to sleep.

 

 

He woke up hard. Which was not altogether terribly strange, it was something his body just did sometimes. He wasn’t overly bothered by it as he drifted slowly from the pleasant warmth of sleep. What was strange, though, was the way he was pressing his erection against his bedmate. He opened his eyes to see Simon propped up in bed, a comic open on one knee, his other leg stretched out flat, Raphael wrapped around it. Simon was drinking from a blood bag, and when he noticed his partner was awake, he let a trail of blood roll from the corner of his mouth and trail down his throat.

Raphael took the tease for what it was, and when he stretched to lick up the blood, he let his hips press indecently against Simon’s thigh, knowing it would make his breath catch. This time when Simon spilled blood from the bag, it was entirely accidental.

“Don’t get blood on my shirt,” Raphael groused, taking the excuse to lick a broad stripe up his boyfriend’s offered neck.

“Better take it off then,” Simon quipped smartly, and evidently not genuinely, because he squeaked in surprised with Raphael grabbed the hem and started yanking it up. Simon giggled as he tried to help, the hand with the blood bag held aloft, Raphael only able to use one hand as the other was propping himself up on the bed. He was pretty sure his shirt ended up stained anyway, but it was worth it when he could toss it across the room triumphantly and Simon dribbled blood onto his bare chest as he laughed when he finished the bag. Raphael lapped it up happily.

“Do you want some? I grabbed a bag for you,” Simon said, half gasping as Raphael licked over the droplets on his chest and the trails down his chin.

“I’d rather take from you,” Raphael rumbled, licking into his partner’s mouth. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah,” Simon breathed. “Yeah, definitely. Please.”

He bit down over his nipple. It was a foolish place to feed from, in the middle of a hard muscle, far from good arteries. But it made Simon moan so gorgeously when he sucked. Enhanced hearing picked up the sound of his comic fluttering to the ground, and Simon was immediately melting down and twisting towards him, trying to get more of their bodies into contact. And when his thigh slid between Raphael’s legs, pressing up against his erection, Raphael didn’t hate it. The contact didn’t feel like unexpectedly tapping a live wire, it didn’t make his skin there hurt from the intensity. It felt nice. In a very distant, warm way, like holding hands or a freshly laundered suit. But still nice. Nice enough that Raphael pushed into it, rocking his own thigh into Simon’s swelling cock, forcing a hiss out of the other man.

“Raph,” Simon panted, hands clutching at his shoulders and neck. “Do you, um, want to do something about that, or do you want me to just ignore it?” Simon always liked to ask, when Raphael got hard, always so willing to follow his lead and give him anything he needed. That willingness, that prioritization of his comfort, Simon’s foolish willingness to sleep on the couch because he was asleep and couldn’t give consent to closeness, Raphael had never had to ask for that. It was offered so easily by the other man, as if it were expected. It made Raphael feel absurdly spoiled. And like he would do plenty to make this man happy.

“I want to use it,” he said suddenly, pulling his teeth from his flesh and crawling up his body. He kissed him, wet and slick with blood, and let their cocks line up.

“Oh, fuck, yes, please,” Simon said, arms coiling around his middle, holding the older man on top of him. “What do you want to do?”

“I,” Raphael said, unsure, stilling as he held himself above his lover. “I want to try to fuck you,” he said softly, cautiously. “Would you like that?”

The moan that peeled out of Simon’s mouth could only be described as broken and he shuddered underneath him, hands gripping at his sides with sharpened nails.

“Are you sure?” he asked, sounding pained and desperate.

“I might have to stop,” Raphael warned him. “I don’t know what it will be like.” He touched Simon’s hair, fingers toying with the loose curls. “But I want to try.”

Simon groaned again, surging up against him to kiss him fiercely. Raphael grabbed his shoulders, steading himself as Simon sat up, arms lashed around his waist to keep him in his lap. He kissed enthusiastically, hands sliding up and down Raphael’s back. Simon made happy noises in his mouth as he kissed him and kissed him. Trailing kisses down his throat, Raphael felt him swallow against his lips.

“Don’t you need to get ready?” he asked, brushing his fangs across Simon’s thin skin.

“Yeah, yeah,” Simon said, grabbing his face and pressing a kiss to his lips, letting his tongue curl around a fang. When he drew away, he grabbed Raphael’s thighs and lifted, dumping him back onto his side of the bed. He landed with an amused huff, smiling as Simon grinned down at him, before scrambling out of the bed and heading for the dresser. Raphael laid back, one arm folded under his head as he watched his partner rummage in the bottom drawer, the one filled with graphic tees, skinny jeans and, apparently, lube.

Though it didn’t elicit from him the same reactions sexual people would have, Raphael still found the naked body aesthetically beautiful. Especially Simon’s. Perhaps it came from being a vampire, but Raphael liked looking at the curves and angles of his partner’s body, imagining the feel of them under his hands and mouth. As Simon bent to rummage in the drawer, Raphael admired the strength of his thighs, imagining biting into the back of his knee. When Simon returned to the bed, smile wide and winning, Raphael let himself hungrily take in the gorgeous lines of his shoulders and chest, perfect for sinking teeth into.

Simon tugged his shorts off before climbing back up onto the plush bed, considerately pushing the sheets and blankets down and out of the way. Raphael crawled backwards on his elbows until he was even with the pillows again, settling himself comfortably and beckoning his lover towards him. Simon came eagerly, the bottle in one hand as he settled over the older vamp on his hands and knees. Raphael cupped his face and pulled him down for a kiss.

He kept kissing him when he heard the click of the bottle, and the shifting of his partner’s weight. After a few moments, he felt Simon gasp against his lips, his kiss getting a little distracted. Raphael pulled away to look at his face, to see the expressions he made. His mouth hung open as his shoulder flexed, reaching back behind himself. His eyes were dark and he blushed pinkly when he saw Raphael studying him. He tried to hang his head down, but Raphael grabbed his chin and kissed him fiercely instead.

They kissed and hummed and gasped against each other as Simon got himself ready. After long minutes, Raphael felt a drop of wetness land on his stomach. Looking down, he saw Simon’s cock was flushed red and wet at the head. After a beat of hesitation, Raphael brought his hand up to brush the backs of his fingers along the length. Simon sucked in a ragged breath, moaning when it rushed out, biting down on his own lip.

“I’m ready if you are,” he said with a breathless laugh. “You sure you’re okay with trying this?”

“Yeah,” Raphael whispered. “I want to make you feel good.”

“You do that everyday,” Simon said in between kisses, bracing his hand on Raphael’s ribs as he leaned down. Raphael thought the wet slide was a little gross, but he ignored it in favor of the clever tongue in his mouth. “How do you want to?” Simon asked, bumping their noses together. “Do you want me to ride you? Do all the work?”

“No,” Raphael answered immediately. He didn’t want to be pinned down. He wanted to be in charge of what was happening to his body. “No, I wanna be on top.”

“Awesome,” Simon said eagerly, rolling over onto the bed next to him. “I look super awkward up there. Like a skinny crab. It definitely wouldn’t have been nice to watch.” Raphael chuckled, pushing himself up and looking down at the long line of his partner sprawled out next to him, pale skin stretched over muscle, sparsely darkened with hair, all beautiful angles and softness.

“You’re perfect,” he said in a murmur and Simon beamed up at him. Raphael crawled over him, sitting on his heels between his legs. He put his hands on his thighs, trying to gather strength from the inviting look in his partner’s eyes.

“D’you want to take your pants off?” Simon asked gently, fingertips plucking at the fabric still cover his knees. Raphael nodded, awkwardly pulling his sleep pants down over his hips and then off his legs. This was the first time he’d been naked in a bed with someone. Simon had showered with him before, tenderly washing his hair and leaving suds on the tip of his nose childishly. This was different.

Simon looked but didn’t linger. Raphael could see in the tension in his mouth that he wanted nothing more than to push him down and touch him everywhere. He knew he was literally biting his tongue to keep from saying anything that would make Raphael feel uncomfortable. He appreciated the effort, and he let him know by leaning down to kiss him. Simon’s hands landed tentatively on his shoulder and neck, feather-light touch at odds with the passion with which he kissed him. Raphael shuffled his knees closer, until his thighs were under Simon’s and he could feel the slicked skin of his ass against his groin.

“Ready?” Simon asked again, handing him the tube of lube.

“Um,” Raphael said, looking at it.

“Just take a little to cover yourself with,” he explained. “So you slide in easier.”

“ _Dios_ , sex is weird,” Raphael breathed, shaking his head as he poured a little bit of the liquid into his palm. Simon giggled underneath him, and they shared a smile.

“Yeah, I guess it is pretty weird,” Simon said with a cheeky grin, watching raptly as Raphael shuddered, stroking himself and reacting to the silky slide. “Raph,” he said, trying to get his attention. Raphael dropped himself, putting his slick hands on Simon’s thighs as he looked up at him. “I know this is the first time you’ve ever done something like this,” he began. “But I haven’t had anything up my ass in a really long time. So while I want you to do whatever you need to to make yourself feel good, please try not to hurt me, if you can help it.”

If his heart could beat, it would’ve stopped.

“You didn’t tell me it would hurt you,” Raphael said with a tinge of panic.

“It won’t hurt a lot,” Simon assured him, stroking his forearms soothingly. “I shouldn’t have said anything, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Raphael insisted, looking down at his dick and trying to decide if it was big or not.

“Raph, babe, it’s just like a bite,” Simon soothed him, squeezing his hands. “It hurts a little going in, but then it feels so good.” Raphael was still not convinced. “Please, Raphael,” he said, letting his voice take on just a hint of begging, something he knew made Raphael want to do anything he asked for, made him want to take care of him.

“Can I bite you first?” Raphael asked, feeling unsettled enough that something familiar and pleasurable would probably help them both.

“Yeah,” Simon encouraged, nodding. “Anywhere you want.” Raphael grabbed his leg behind the knee, pulling it up to hook over his shoulder. He kissed the inside of his knee before sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of his inner thigh. He felt Simon shiver and he watched out of the corner of his eye as Simon’s plush lips parted and his eyes rolled back. All the tension bled out of him as the venom rushed through his blood. Raphael shuffled closer, the pleasure of feeding making sure his dick was still hard enough. He grabbed it in one hand, trying not to think too hard about how it felt. He pressed the head against Simon’s hole and leaned forward.

For a moment he was sure it wouldn’t work, and that human bodies weren’t meant for this, and then Simon opened around him and he slid in quickly. Simon tensed up around him, and Raphael pulled his teeth out of his leg to try to focus. It was hard. It was overwhelming. He couldn’t catalogue all the feels that were being squeezed out of him. He hung his head and held onto Simon’s thighs with a bruising strength. He peeled his eyes open and saw that he wasn’t all the way in. He pushed forward until it was. Bites hurt less if you did it quickly, and if he wanted to get used to this feeling, he wanted to do it all at once.

Simon’s hands were on his stomach in a flash, flat against him, one gripping, one pushing. Raphael looked up at him; saw the furrow in his brow and the teeth digging into his lip.

“Okay?” he asked, somehow completely breathless.

“Don’t move,” Simon said immediately. Raphael obeyed, going preternaturally still. “Fuck, Raph,” he whined, fingers on his stomach staying tense and rigid for a few minutes before relaxing enough to stroke over his skin. Raphael breathed again, just so he had a way to count the time passing. After eight breaths, Simon’s body started softening around him, thighs and hips relaxing, his hands dropping down again. “Can you come here?” Simon asked, finally opening his eyes to look at him out from underneath his lashes.

Raphael bent carefully, shrugging Simon’s thigh off his shoulder so he could fold down over him. He tried not to jostle where they were joined, moving awkwardly as he leaned down to kiss him. Simon kissed desperately, hands gripping at his hair, something he never allowed during the night when he had to look presentable. But now, he let the boy get a good grip, letting him thread his fingers through his sleep-tousled hair, holding him close. Simon hitched his thighs up around his ribs, and it made Raphael feel like he’d somehow gotten even deeper.

“Are you okay?” Simon asked, and Raphael realized he’d stopped kissing him, and had just gasped into his mouth instead.

“Yes,” Raphael answered, though he was holding himself rigidly.

“Can you move?” Simon asked, shifting his own hips in tiny thrusts.

“Yeah,” he breathed, planting his arms on the bed and pulling his hips back. The sensation was thick and overwhelming, but not bad. Just a lot. He pressed in, and it was worth the soft moan Simon let roll out of his lips. Raphael did it again, and Simon hitched his legs even farther up, changing the angle again. He let him, letting him move his body underneath his anyway he wanted, even though it pushed him away. When his thighs were nearly between their chests Simon started to whine in the back of his throat, head thrown back, hands clenching at Raphael’s back with each, hesitant thrust.

“So good, Raphael, yes,” he hissed, fangs dropping down, fingernails growing into claws, cutting into his skin. He clenched down on him, and Raphael could feel shivers running down his spine where they were connected, and Simon was writhing around him, legs wrapped nearly around his shoulders, hands grappling at him, moaning and whimpering. It was sensory overload, and as Raphael got more and more overwhelmed, he realized that he was beginning to lose his erection as the anxiety began to mount.

“Simon,” he said, his harsh voice causing Simon’s eyes to flutter open, brow creasing in worry. “Simon, I need to bite you right now.”

“Yeah,” he responded easily, arching his head to one side. Raphael shoved his thighs wider, pushing them back down around his waist so he could collapse against his chest, teeth sinking directly into his jugular. Simon cried out, and his shifting hips reminded Raphael to keep moving. He wrapped an arm under Simon’s back, holding around his waist as he kept thrusting in the same rhythm of the sucking pulls he took from his throat. Simon’s body was completely boneless underneath him, thighs open and loose as he took every thrust, weak, quiet breaths slipping from his lips. Raphael drank deeply, letting the wash of bloodlust turn the sensations from their connection into something warm and hazy, instead of fiery and overwhelming.

After too long, he pulled his mouth away with effort, for the first time in many years needing to remind himself not to take too much. He kissed the fledgling’s throat, where blood had leaked from his mouth. He was messy with it, smearing blood all over his skin, before taking his mouth in a wet kiss. Simon hummed into it, kissing him sweetly, brushing his fingers through his hair and trailing them down his back. Raphael sighed, relaxing into the rhythm of it. It was nice, in a way. The feeling of tightness around him was incredibly overpowering, but he liked the _closeness_. He liked the way Simon was wrapped around him, liked the whimpers in his ear, liked the rush of share blood between them.

Simon ran his hands over his back gently, and when Raphael came through the hazy of blood-drinking, he noticed Simon’s sounds and reactions had changed. His eyes were half-lidded and glassy from he bite, but his hips weren’t twitching under him, his nails weren’t digging into his back, and he wasn’t begging him for more. Instead, he lay underneath him sweetly, drifting gently on the wave of the bite. In fact, it was almost too sweet. Raphael pulled back and Simon smiled at him gently, the look on his face soft and loving. There’s not a trace of the lust-driven, hip-twitching, skin-breaking menace that had overwhelmed Raphael so much moments before. Instead, Simon lay underneath him, looking like this whole process was just like any other bite for him.

“Is it,” Raphael stuttered. “Is it okay?” He never thought his skills in bed, or lack there of, would ever be something he worried about. But his partner wasn’t moaning, wasn’t clutching at him with need. The begging had stopped, and he _loved_ the begging.

“You’re great,” Simon assured him.

“You look like you were having more… fun, before,” Raphael said, haltingly. His hips had stopped moving, and he felt very awkward now, with his dick in another body.

“The angle was better, before,” Simon answered honestly.

“The angle?” Raphael asked, pushing himself farther up like he’d been before.

“Yeah, like this,” Simon said, holding his legs up again, putting his thighs between their bodies. Raphael gave a tentative thrust, Simon squirmed some more, and when Raphael thrust again, Simon twitched under him, head pushed back into his pillow. “Yeah, right here. This is perfect,” he breathed, teeth ivory against his red lips. Raphael pushed forward again and again, putting his hands on Simon’s legs, where they were folded between their chests. Simon was making sweet sounds again, beginning to move again against him.

It was nice, Raphael supposed, to make him feel good like this. But he didn’t really like it as much. He felt oddly far away from Simon, given that his dick was inside him. It made it hard not to let all the tightness and slickness overwhelm him, when he couldn’t focus instead on their bodies pressing together or the smell of his blood on his skin. It was much less intimate this way, and Raphael didn’t like it. He was willing to keep going, keep getting those sweet sounds from Simon’s mouth, but the discomfort started making a ball of tension in his spine and he didn’t like it anymore.

“I don’t like it this way,” he said after a few quite minutes, making Simon’s closed eyes open. It seemed to take him a second to understand. But when he did, he swallowed, throat moving visibly, enticingly under the sheen of blood and spit he’d left behind, and he propped himself up on his elbows, letting his legs drop down.

“Do you want to stop?” Simon asked, doing a valiant job of not letting his disappointment show. Raphael shook his head.

“I want to get the angle right,” he insisted. “But I want to be close to you,” he looked away. “I want to be close enough to bite you, and kiss you, and feel you somewhere other than just your asshole.”

“Okay,” Simon said easily with a dopey smile, a hand touching his cheek. “Okay, I love you even more than I did before.” Raphael blushed and Simon grinned even more. “Would it be okay if I turned over?” Raphael considered, and nodded slowly.

Simon sat up, dislodging him unpleasantly, but then soothing him with a kiss. He grinned at him, seemingly not at all put off by the awkwardness of the rearrangement. He rolled onto his stomach, pulling one leg up to the side, pushing his straight leg between Raphael’s. He arched his back, pushing his ass up, and Raphael admired the aesthetic beauty of the shapes he made.

“Try it like this,” Simon said, letting his head rest against the pillow, looking down over his shoulder at his partner. Raphael inched closer on his knees. He grabbed his dick in his hand and pressed it in. It was a little too soft to go in easily, but Simon just arched his back further and let his head loll to the side. “Bite me.”

It had been decades since Raphael last bit a person from behind. He’d been hunting then, still feeding on mundanes. It felt nice to stretch his body over his lovers, covering his back, dick half inside, while he nosed up the curve of his neck. They slept like this sometimes, Raphael holding his fledgling tightly against his chest, keeping him still and safe. He bit, letting blood fill his mouth and felt Simon shift underneath him, moaning. He reached back with one hand, grabbing the back of Raphael’s head and holding him close. After a few greedy pulls, Raphael’s body began responding again, dick hardening again in the tight clench of his partner’s body.

When he thrust, Simon moaned, hips shifting back against him, looking for more. Raphael saw his hand clench in the sheets above their heads, felt his unnecessary breath catch in his chest.

“Good?” he asked, thrusting harder to feel Simon’s ass shake against his hips.

“Fuck, yes,” Simon growled through clenched teeth, sounding rough and hungry. Raphael grinned proudly, moving his hips faster, feeding off of Simon’s responses, biting into his shoulder. Simon gasped underneath him, the hand in his hair tugging dangerously. “So good,” he gasped. “Bite me again. Please, Rafa, please.” Raphael did, pairing it with a hard roll of his hips. Simon mewled, twitching underneath him, pinned down by his chest, legs shifting, back heaving with gasps.

Raphael let himself go, biting across his shoulders and up his neck, licking across the wounds and blood, letting some heal, keeping others open. Simon was babbling underneath him, entreatments soon becoming meaningless as they merged from words to moans.

“Fuck, Raph, fuck, I love you,” he groaned, hips moving with Raphael’s in a way that he didn’t hate, fucking himself back on his dick. In fact, he sort of liked the way his ass felt against his groin, liked the soft strength there, the way his skin looked especially pale against the red sheets. “Please, fucking please, keep fucking me.”

“You’re beautiful like this, baby,” he whispered in his ear, before sinking his teeth into his neck. A vampire couldn’t get addicted to another vampire, but Raphael had the fleeting thought that he could get addicted to Simon; addicted to the pretty sounds he made, the way he begged for more, the way he lost his words when he made him feel good.

“I need to come,” Simon gasped suddenly. “I’m going to come, fuck, Raph, I’m gonna come.”

“What do you need?” he asked, willing to provide a hand if asked. But that seemed like the last words Simon was capable of. He just groaned, moaning, whining, grinding his hips between Raphael’s dick inside him and the soft silk of the bed. He made the choking sound he always does right before he comes, and Raphael bit him at exactly the right moment, so that his orgasm felt bigger and longer as it rode with the fresh wave of venom. Simon gasped and cried out underneath him, twitching and flinching. His body closed down tightly around Raphael, to the point that he whimpered, too, biting even harder on his shoulder, battling with his instincts to pull away, to let his partner ride it out. Simon was tense and tight for a few more seconds before he went boneless against the sheets, tiny, panting moans falling from his lips as shivers ran over his skin. Raphael pulled out, apparently too quickly, judging from the wince on Simon’s otherwise lax features, and laid down next to him.

“Do you?” Simon slurred, waving a hand in his dick’s general direction.

“No, no,” Raphael hurried to say, not wanting anything else to happen to his body. That had all been enjoyable, but quite enough. Now, he needed a break. Probably for a very long time.

“Was it okay?” Simon asked, face still half smushed into his pillow, apparently content to lie in the puddle of his own come. Raphael wrinkled his nose at him. He certainly excused a lot of disgusting sensations in the name of orgasms.

“It was fine,” Raphael answered, sitting up to grab his pants from the foot of the bed. He tugged them on and laid back again, staring at the ceiling. They were quiet for a while, the sound of Simon’s slowing breathing the only sound in the room. Raphael realized it was probably the longest Simon had ever been quiet. He felt his lover’s eyes on him and turned his head.

Simon was looking at him with huge, hesitant eyes, and Raphael felt a jolt of surprise at how heartbroken the younger vamp looked.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, reaching a hand across the bed. Simon seized it immediately, wrapping their fingers together and dragging his hand closer to him.

“Are you okay?” Simon asked, instead of answering.

“Yes, I’m fine, _mi amor,_ ” Raphael said, stroking his thumb over the bumps of his knuckles. Though, truly, he could still feel the stickiness of the fluid on his skin, and the general buzz under his skin of too much sensation in too strange of places.

“Can, um,” Simon began haltingly. “Can I cuddle you right now?” Raphael frowned without his consent at the thought of the lube and come covering his partner’s skin. Simon saw it and flinched away, pulling his fingers from Raphael’s and tucking his fist under his chin. “That’s fine,” the boy clearly lied. Raphael immediately felt guilty. He knew how important closeness was to Simon, how necessary intimacy was. Of course it would be important after sex and feeding. And with how much Raphael took from him, and the way venom interacts with a typical orgasm, he wasn’t surprised that the boy would be feeling especially vulnerable. He was always clingy after sex, and with this being the first time they engaged in this particular type, of course he would be now, too, even covered with fluids as he was.

“Hey,” Raphael murmured, turning onto his side and reaching over to place his hand on his partner’s back. Simon pushed into the touch, eyes squeezing shut, a small whimper leaking from his chest. “Baby,” Raphael sighed again, shifting closer until he could wrap his arm around his back, nuzzling his face into Simon’s messy hair. Simon released a shuddering exhale, melting under his touch without reaching out for him.

“I’m sorry,” Simon muttered to the pillow.

“No, baby, it’s fine,” Raphael shushed him, kissing his forehead. “Let’s clean up,” he suggested, sitting up and stroking over Simon’s long, pale back.

“I don’t want to move,” Simon groaned, though he arched his back into his touch, humming in pleasure.

“If you get in the shower, I’ll do all the work,” Raphael said plyingly. “I want you clean again.” His nose wrinkled again. “Right now you’re gross.”

Simon perked up visibly at that. He rolled over, and pushed up onto his elbows.

“Oh,” he said happily. “You don’t like the mess.”

“No, I don’t, so let’s get rid of it.” Raphael got out of bed, walking around the massive piece of furniture to head towards the en suite. Simon moved to his edge, legs dangling off, hands in his lap. If he could blush, he would have.

“I thought it was me,” he admitted, looking down with an embarrassed grimace. “I thought you thought I was gross, or whatever, For liking that.” Raphael paused in his step, looking over his shoulder at his partner with a look of disbelief.

“I don’t think you’re gross, Simon,” he said, striding to his side of the bed. He cupped his face in his hands and kissed him firmly. “I think you’re weird,” he said leaning back and giving him a haughty look. “And I think sex is really weird.” He grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the bed and towards the shower. “But I love you, and for you, I do lots of weird things. Like watch those horrible movies with you, and give you a hand every now and then.”

“Hey, don’t shame me,” Simon said, though there was a smile on his face and a lightness to his voice. “Plenty of other people like the weirdness of sex.”

“And plenty of them have tried to convince me of it’s value,” Raphael said, turning on the water before drawing his partner in with the hand still in his. He pulled his arm behind his back until Simon took the hint and wrapped his arm around his waist. “You’re the only one I’ve found convincing enough to try it.”

Simon smiled at him warmly, leaning in to kiss him softly.

“I love you, too,” he whispered against his lips. Raphael hummed against him, kissing him again before pushing him under the flow of the water.

“I’ll love you more when you’re clean,” he said, firm hands on his waist keeping the flailing boy from slipping as he laughed.

“You like it when I’m covered in blood,” Simon teased, drawing a hand up the wet skin of his stomach and chest.

“Blood, yes,” Raphael agreed, watching the pink streams of water run down from his neck. Simon turned and Raphael’s fangs itched in his mouth at the sight of his bloody and torn back. “Any other sex fluid, no thank you,” Raphael said shortly, stepping out of his own pants and climbing into the shower after him. Simon met him with gentle hands and a wet kiss, quickly soaking him in the warm water.

“You said you’d do all the work,” Simon said, smiling against his wet cheek.

“I lied, it was a ruse to get you out of bed,” Raphael said flatly, though he was already smoothing sudsy hands over his partner’s chest. Simon just chuckled, leaning into his touch, letting his forehead fall against the shorter man’s shoulder. Raphael indulgently washed him everywhere above the waist, even doing his hair gently. Eventually, Simon felt appropriately cuddled and doted on, and straightened up with a smile on his face, taking over washing all the especially filthy parts of him that Raphael had avoided touching.

“Do you have meetings today?” Simon asked, hands doing something mysterious to his ass that Raphael did not want to think about too hard.

“When do I not have meetings?” he answered dryly.

“When’s the first?” Simon asked, very unsubtly fishing.

“Not so soon that we can’t take our time getting ready.” It was a lie, actually, and Raphael would have to text Lily as soon as they got dry to reschedule a few. But he understood Simon’s desire to stay in and stay together. It had been a long time since he’d put his body through that much alien sensation. He still felt his skin buzzing in some places, cooped up energy that had nowhere to go. All he wanted to do was hold his partner tightly until he felt settled again. Fortunately, he thought Simon would be amenable to that.

They got out of the shower, got dry and got dressed. The older vamp pushed the second blood bag into Simon’s hands, stroking over his back and shoulders as he drank, quietly expressing his worry that he’d taken too much from him.

“I’m fine,” Simon assured him.

“You’re shaking.” He pressed close along his back, arms wrapped around his waist, feeling the tremors running up and down his legs.

“That’s because I just came harder than I ever have before in my life,” Simon chuckled. “Not because I’m low on blood volume.”

“I don’t care,” Raphael insisted. “Drink. I won’t kiss you again until it’s all gone.” Simon drank without further argument.

Raphael refused to get back in bed until the sheets were cleaned, so Simon drug the comforter off the top and swaddled them up together on the couch.

“We can watch two episodes of whatever foolish nonsense you’d like,” Raphael said, as if it were a great task to endure, cuddled up and comfortable with someone who loved him.

“You know I’m going to pick whatever show has the longest episodes, now,” Simon said, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, nuzzling into his damp hair.

“I’m okay with that,” he sighed, and he closed his eyes, content to let the slow, unnecessary rise and fall of Simon’s chest and the inane chatter on the screen lull him into a gentle peace, in which his body was his and his heart was Simon’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might do a third chapter or a prelude to this fic in which we actually see Raphael coming out to Simon, because I have a lot of feelings and headcanons about that, but I don't know yet. Let me know what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr if you want more of my trash existence. I'm [ definitelynotadulting ](http://definitelynotadulting.tumblr.com/)


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